Navigating Holiday Stress and Grief: Ways to Find Peace During the Season

The holiday season is typically associated with joy, warmth, and togetherness. However, for many it can also bring stress, anxiety, and an overall mix of emotions. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed or mourning the loss of loved ones, it’s important to take a step back and acknowledge your feelings. This post will explore some ways to handle the heaviness of the holidays.

Recognize and Acknowledge Your Feelings

It's easy to feel pressured to be happy or festive during the holiday season, but it’s important to remember that it’s okay not to feel joyful all the time. Stress, sadness, or grief can intensify during the holidays due to the pressure to meet social expectations, the emotional weight of past memories, or even the rush of the season.

We invite you to allow yourself to acknowledge these emotions without judgment. Simply recognizing how you feel can be a step toward healing. If you're grieving, it’s okay to admit that this holiday is different, and it may feel like something is missing.

Create New Traditions or Change Existing Ones

Instead of forcing yourself to continue old traditions that could feel more painful than happy, consider creating new ones. This could mean celebrating in a different way, such as a quiet day doing something creative, volunteering to help others, or creating a journal/memory book to honor loved ones who are no longer with you.

Even something as simple as a small change in your holiday routine can bring a sense of control and purpose. Adjust your plans to fit what feels right for you, and don't feel obligated to participate in everything.

Set Boundaries

On the topic of feeling obligated to participate in everything--holiday gatherings, family obligations, and the general hustle and bustle of the season can become overwhelming, especially if you're already managing stress or grief. It’s okay to set boundaries to protect your mental health. You don’t have to attend every party, buy every gift, or take on more than you can handle. You have the right to say no without feeling guilty.

Be honest with your loved ones about what you’re able to do. If you need time alone, that’s okay. If certain topics or conversations bring up painful feelings, it’s perfectly fine to step away or ask for a break. Take time to be kind to yourself and understanding that your needs are valid.

Take Time for Self-Care

Self-care is often overlooked during the holidays, but it’s one of the most important! When you're managing stress or grief, self-care isn't just about relaxation—it’s about replenishing your emotional reserves. Make sure you're eating well, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that nurture your mental and physical wellbeing.

Consider activities like yoga, journaling, taking a walk, or practicing mindfulness. Even small moments of stillness can help you feel grounded and present. Regularly check in with yourself to check that you're not neglecting your own well-being in the midst of the chaos. If you find yourself struggling and feel like you need extra support, reaching out to a mental health professional is always an option.

Lean on Your Support System

When grief and stress feel overwhelming, reaching out to others can provide comfort. Whether it's a friend, family member, or therapist, don't hesitate to share how you're feeling. Talking about your emotions with a mental health professional or someone you trust can be a healing experience and help you feel less isolated. You can also consider joining a support group where you can connect with others who understand your loss. Sharing experiences with people who are going through similar struggles can provide a feeling of solidarity and strength.

Allow Yourself to Grieve in Your Own Way

The holidays can intensify feelings of loss, and there’s no “right” way to grieve. Some may find solace in reminiscing about their loved ones, while others may need a break from traditions altogether.

Give yourself permission to experience grief as it comes. This may involve moments of sadness, tears, or remembrance. It's okay to grieve. It’s ok to not be ok. Honor your emotions and be patient with yourself as you process them. If you feel like it’s too overwhelming, you can always participate in the container exercise (putting your thoughts and feelings in a container – mentally or physically-- of your choice and putting it up on the shelf for later) or reach out to a mental heal professional to help navigate the landscape.

Focus on What You Can Control

Holidays can often feel chaotic, but you have the power to decide what you want your experience to look like. Whether it’s simplifying your schedule or adjusting your expectations, find ways to make the season feel more manageable.

Small acts of self-compassion, like taking a break when needed or allowing yourself a guilt-free rest, can make a big difference. You don’t have to create the perfect holiday experience—what matters most is how you take care of yourself throughout it.

Find Meaning in the Season

The holidays can be a time of reflection. It can be helpful to focus on the deeper meaning behind the season—whether it's the act of giving, connecting with others, or participating in the traditions that bring you comfort.

Perhaps the holidays can become a time for you to reconnect with your inner strength, reflect on your resilience, or practice gratitude for the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small they may seem.

If nothing else, remember this:

It’s okay to not have everything figured out. Take things one step at a time, listen to your needs, and give yourself permission to experience the season in your own way. If stress or grief feel overwhelming, remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out for mental health services, lean on others, adjust your expectations, and prioritize self-care. Above all, be gentle with yourself. The holidays may look different this year, and that’s perfectly okay. Take time to find what feels right for you, and allow yourself to rest, reflect, and heal.